Centre stage papers – Days 3, 4 & 5: Extending the vision

Supporting self-esteem in adolescents

 

 

Abstract

Recent literature on adolescent self-esteem is quite diverse, ranging from material about body image and sexuality to dietary habits and friendships. In this paper, a selection of this literature will be reviewed in an exploration of self-esteem as a factor in adolescents’ expectations and success in life, with particular reference to relationships with family and friends in home and school settings. Further, strategies for group therapy in enhancing self-esteem, as practised in a range of programs, will be described.

The motivation for examining self-esteem here can be traced back to the author’s experiences and observations in voluntary work with a youth service whose mission is young people’s self-empowerment. The Youth Insearch Foundation offers weekend retreat camps across Australian states for young people, aged 12 to 18, who are experiencing issues that affect their quality of life. Participating in these personal development camps and ongoing support groups allows young people, in the company of peers and adult supporters, to work through issues that are holding them back and to make and implement plans for moving on with positive attitudes to life. Increasingly, issues concerning relationships with family members and peers, and their effect on self-esteem, feature prominently in the issues young people report (Barr, 2005). An early session in each camp focuses on defining self-esteem, elucidating factors that impact positively and negatively on it, and developing strategies to enhance it. Similarly here, the literature will be used to give shape and distinction in tracking down that elusive phenomenon termed ‘self-esteem’ and what it means in the day to day lives of young people at home, at school and in the community in general. Following this, strategies for improving adolescents’ self-esteem, which could be used in guidance and counselling interventions in group settings, will be outlined.

On the trail of self-esteem

The concept of ‘self-esteem’ can be quite nebulous. According to the dictionary (Collins English dictionary: Complete and unabridged, 2003), it is ‘respect for or a favourable opinion of oneself’ (p.1466) with ‘self’ being further defined as ‘the distinct individuality or identity of a person’ (p.1465) and ‘esteem’ as ‘to have great respect or high regard for’ (p.561). However, in this postmodern world, the evidence of both the literature and of young people’s experiences, as related at Youth Insearch camps, is that self-esteem involves much more than self as an individual. In today’s society, self is understood as being about self-and-others or self-in-relations so, by extrapolation, self-esteem must involve both self and others in its expression. For example, Buber’s (1987) classic framing of ‘I and thou’ sees self and other as two parts or faces of the one identity. More recently, Bruner (2004) refers to telling stories of ourselves as being a process of making selfhood public and thus part of other. With particular reference to self-esteem, a study by Baldwin and Hoffman (2002, online) found that self-esteem in adolescents is a dynamic rather than static construct, and that ‘changes in self-esteem during adolescence were influenced by shifts in life events and family cohesion’. In other words, self-esteem in young people has to do with more than just the individualised self; it involves those they relate to. Baldwin and Hoffman (2002) further note, following William James’ (1983) famous words on self-esteem to the effect that it is the ratio between one’s successes and one’s pretensions, that shifting self-esteem involves increasing successes or lowering expectations. At Youth Insearch camps, young people tell of how others affect their self-esteem, sometimes in a way that supports personal success but often in ways that see them having so few successes that they eventually expect nothing of themselves or of others and accept this as a reasonable coping strategy. Self-esteem, therefore, is more than simply respect for self as an individual. It is a complex phenomenon created of social and relational selves that says something about how those selves are respected and valued in relationships. High self-esteem could thus be termed positively as a pattern-that-connects (Bateson, 1988) to build success in young people’s lives. Sadly, in converse, low self-esteem might be seen as an unravelling pattern-that-destroys and impacts negatively on expectations and coping in life experiences. To flesh out this complexity of self-esteem and its role in young people’s relationships further, several other studies will now be highlighted.

Self-esteem in young people’s relationships

Adolescents’ self-esteem could be seen as somewhat of a balancing act between a high level of success with high self-esteem and low expectations with low self-esteem. For many young people, shifting self-esteem may be like continually riding a see-saw as they respond to the vagaries of life’s experiences. The literature shows that there are wide-ranging influences on self-esteem and that levels of self-esteem, in turn, influence many aspects of adolescents’ lives, with relationships falling into both categories. Here, a cross-section of influences will be examined to gain some insight into what makes the see-saw of self-esteem go up or down. First, the downhill slide will be explored.

In a study of the cognitive-affective mediators between life stress and the onset of depression, Chang (2001) saw self-concept as a primarily cognitive structuring of the self through self attributes. By contrast, self-esteem was seen more as affective global feelings about self-worth. The research showed that the path of most adolescents in the study was such that high levels of stress in life led to the boundaries of self blurring through self-concept disintegration. This affected self-esteem and, as expectations were lowered, depression was able to take hold. If young people are informally reporting more problems with relationships, as previously mentioned, it is reasonable to presume that these might be an increasing source of stressors. In recent personal communications (Baker, 2005), a school administrator reported that social-emotional relationships are the single biggest issue causing behavioural, and thus learning concerns, for young people in his school. For example, tracking data show that Mondays have the highest incidence of acting-out behaviour as students, once out of the home environment, seek to come to terms with disturbing family issues from the weekend (Spencer, 2005a). In this circumstance, it is easy to see how family hassles, in which young people are often powerless participants, might impinge on a diminishing self-concept, with a declining sense of self-worth leading to plummeting expectations of self and an eventual slide into depression. It is sobering to note that this particular school and community have a high incidence of attempted suicide amongst young people.

When young people are cut loose, so to speak, from age-appropriate structures of attachment by family dissonance, for example, socioeconomic depression, violence, abuse and family breakdown, they become increasingly stressed and thus vulnerable. If the Jamesian ‘ratio’ (James, 1983) is followed, as adolescents experience a lack of success in positive relationships with family members, their expectations are likely to decrease. Not surprisingly, Mullis and Chapman (2000) have found that adolescents with low self-esteem turn to more emotion-focused coping strategies than those with high self-esteem who use more problem-focused strategies. It is much easier, for example, to blow up on a Monday morning at school than it is to solve the problems of poor relationships within the home. To make matters even more challenging, Harter and Whitesell (2001) have found that low self-esteem individuals are less able to discount poor performance in areas that are of little importance to them than high self-esteem individuals are. After a tough weekend, it can be the smallest, most insignificant ‘failure’, for example, to not be first in line to get a good seat on the bus, which can set off a blow up. Young people with low self-esteem may attach greater importance than high self-esteem people to failure in areas that are really of little consequence to them (Harter & Whitesell, 2001). In a way that James (1983) might put it, they expect less and less of what they perceive as a fair deal in everything.

To move the see-saw of self-esteem from tilting downwards to low expectations and depression to swinging upwards, towards high self-esteem and success, the quality of young people’s ‘holding’ relationships needs to improve. Parker and Benson (2004), for example, have found that high levels of parental support and monitoring are related to greater self-esteem and lower levels of risk behaviour. Further, a study by Wilkinson (2004, p.479) shows that ‘the role of peer and parental attachment on psychological health is primarily mediated by self-esteem’. Young people’s self-esteem and relationships with family and friends are clearly correlated. When families provide challenge, through having high but achievable expectations of adolescents, and encouragement, young people develop the self-confidence to raise their expectations of success, and thus, their self-esteem (Schmidt & Padilla, 2003).

If the home environment is unable to provide positive and supportive relationships, the next ‘port-of-call’ for young people is the school. As one school administrator recently put it, ‘we get to deal with it all’ (Spencer, 2005b) in referring to students’ relationship issues. In a study by Offord, Wright, Shain, Dewit, Rye and Sanford (2000), it was noted that where students perceive school culture to be negative and a range of adverse mental health and behavioural problems result, the transmission of negative effects is mediated in part by reductions in levels of self-esteem. On the other hand, if the social ecology of school can provide the positive support that young people miss out on at home, this can only boost self-esteem and expectations for success. That said, Ross and Broh (2000) claim that the apparent benefits of high self-esteem for academic success are really due to a strong locus of internal self-control. They do, however, see a positive correlation between a personal control and self-esteem as aspects of self-concept.

The kind of language and terminology used above points, overall, to the need for schools to enable self-empowerment in adolescents. Middle schooling practices, for example, support young people’s engagement in meaningful learning activities where they can experience success and raise their self-esteem. Hunter and Csikszentmihalyi (2003) found a strong association between the experience of young people’s interest in the their world and wellbeing. This could be interpreted such that high levels of school engagement mitigate towards higher levels of self-esteem. Support for this position is found in Slywester’s (2003) work on ‘biological brains in cultural classrooms’. He notes that three functional systems integrate to regulate attention, or interest. Orientation, firstly, disengages focus and works to shift attention to other contrasting and thus emotionally arousing things. The executive attention system then creates a figure of significance on the ground of memory and works out what kind of response is appropriate. As short-term working memory can hold only a few bits of information, front brain pattern building must occur to make sense of the situation. Lastly, the vigilance system works to maintain focus through minor distractions. If middle schooling can support problem-based learning that engages young people and sustains attention and interest through fostering pattern-building and increasing complexity, it will also be supporting the development of their personal power and thus self-esteem.

Some other best practices that can support young people’s self-empowerment and positive sense of self-worth to avoid the slide to low expectations and depression are outlined by Hall and Torres (2002). Again, along the lines of problem solving, they suggest that, with support, adolescents teach themselves to restructure their cognitive processes to address faulty perceptions, to desensitise themselves to noxious stimuli and to increase their coping skills and competence. They need also to learn self-care in their affective functions, through activities such as relaxation, stress management and spiritual practice. Improving social skills and learning to model appropriate and positive behaviours can also support empowerment. Finally, learning to understand and respect the biology of the body and mind can be preventative medicine. In all, Hall and Torres (2002) recommend that adolescents be treated holistically so all of the above activities should be addressed in conjunction with each other. A potential problem might be that the average school curriculum for middle schooling does not adequately cover this kind of personal development work. There is a place for outsourcing some of this vital learning to adjunct programs working alongside mainstream school curriculum.

In the school referred to in various examples throughout this paper, a range of alternative options are available to students with special needs. One recent activity is the development of a young achievers’ club for young people at risk of dropping out of school and/or society. Here, young people’s work is targeted to their needs and the experience of success is raising their self-esteem to produce ‘can do’ attitudes. In another model, Wells, Miller, Tobacyk and Clanton (2002) report on an initiative in which students were removed from the home and school environments in which they experienced failures to another place for intensive training in the kinds of activities recommended above by Hall and Torres (2002), these including academic and vocational tutoring, and regular time with a counsellor. Wells et al. (2002) found that the ‘space to breathe’ of being away from regular environments allowed new perspectives on home and family relationships and fostered self-esteem. Similarly, Sytsma (2004) reports on the Youth Insearch program as an adjunct activity in young people’s self-empowerment and self-esteem boosting. This camp-based program is described as supporting ‘young people’s learning in ways that are highly appropriate for adolescents’ (Sytsma, 2004, p.18). Away from their normal places, spaces and people, young people have the opportunity to develop relationships of trust and to accept responsibility for their lives in making changes. On returning to home and school, improved self-esteem and ongoing support assist them in looking at life and enacting life in ways that have greater congruence and integrity for them. Sometimes they can not change their environment, but they can change how they perceive it and how they relate to it, and this is the essence of self-empowerment.

Tipping the see-saw of self-esteem up is a thrilling and self-illuminating ride for even the most jaded teenager, as opportunities for success unfold. In planning guidance and counselling interventions to improve young people’s self-esteem, much could be learned from what has been written throughout this paper. However, there are four programs in particular that deserve consideration because of their demonstrated success in lifting self-esteem, when used by the author with adolescents. As it has been shown that self-esteem is a construct of self-and-other, all activities in these programs are group-based and involve social learning. If self-esteem is seen as being about valuing the self, the following programs can be seen as value-adding, that is, they help young people to add value to themselves.

Developing self-esteem through helping young people to help themselves

Space restrictions prevent full details of these programs, but the general premises and an exemplar activity will be outlined to give a taste of the programs’ potentials as self-esteem, positive relationship and empowerment builders.

The ELAPSE program (Riley, 1995)

This hands-on program is easily used in a school setting and involves experiential learning of personal and social skills. Through teamwork, young people learn to trust and to be trustworthy. Further, through the mutual experience of success in game-based activities, their self-esteem takes an upward swing. In the circle game of ‘Eye To Eye’, young people have the opportunity to engage one another. After a large circle is formed, one person is invited to ‘eyeball’ another. When the other’s attention is caught, the pair walk out into the middle of the circle to shake hands, introduce themselves by name and then say something positive about each other. This pair retires to the circle and another pair comes out to see and greet each other eye-to-eye, all the while under the observation of their peers in the circle. The game can be made more complex by rolling it on, that is, as a pair retires, each partner is then free to catch the eye of another person in the circle and then go to meet him or her. Simple as this game seems, young people reveal in feedback sessions how difficult it is to fully acknowledge another person and to be acknowledged themselves. They learn how positive body language (for example, chin up and friendly eyes, instead of hanging head and sullen eyes) and positive regard for another (for example, making ‘liking’ observations instead of using put-downs) can make both themselves and others feel better. After this group activity, young people are encouraged to continue practice through greeting people in a positive manner daily.

Rock and Water (Ykema, 2000)

The author of this program describes it as having a psycho-physical approach in that ‘the physical, mental and social aspects [of attitude and behaviour] are mutually connected as systematically as possible, and offered in a meaningful context’ (Ykema, 2000, p.37). Feeling, thinking and doing together are seen as optimally integrating activities in learning to be strong and empowered. Following activities that improve awareness and skill in maintaining appropriate personal boundaries, young people are invited to ‘Run the Gauntlet’. In this, a mock situation of harassment is set up. Peers are asked to stand in a line, as if on a pavement, and heckle passers-by. The passers-by are tutored in walking past the crowd without being drawn into it and potential problems. One at a time, young people are encouraged to present appropriate body language, set their boundaries firm, focus on their destination and extend their energy in walking past the crowd with merely a passing glance. First attempts might see passers-by fixate on the heckling, become engaged, and then sucked into the crowd … their walking path literally veers into it. With mutual support and encouragement, passers-by eventually master their own internal strength and are able to not be distracted or affected by the harassment from the sidelines. This activity is very effective in building a sense of self that is efficacious. It supports high self-esteem in enabling a proactive rather than reactive approach to life and young people come to expect success brought about by their own thoughts, feelings and actions.

Ki Aikido (Aikido: Student guide, 2000)

The essence of Ki Aikido, as taught by Master Koichi Tohei, is that body and mind must function together to be effective in promoting peace and harmony in life. Similarly to Rock and Water, Ki Aikido develops mind-body unification through using social and physical training to exemplify conflict resolution in living daily life. Young people, in situations of conflict, tend to take the fight or flight solution, but training in Ki Aikido techniques and principles can help them in learning to stay with the problem and take the time to work through the conflict towards a peaceful resolution. This takes up on Sywester’s (2003) work on appropriate learning for adolescents, in that it encourages the high road to processing, that is, it involves pattern-making in the front brain rather than emotionally-based reactions. When attacked, whether it be in physical training or, for example, verbally in daily life, young people learn to work with the attacker’s energy and use it in resolving the issue. For example, in a situation of being verbally abused by a parent, a young aikidoka works to maintain body and mind unity and to approach the situation calmly from the position of strength and stability, much like the passers-by who could walk the gauntlet in Rock and Water. Instead of offering aggression in return, the young person will not engage in escalating the violence of the situation but in negotiating win-win solutions to the problem at hand. Too sophisticated as this may seem for the average young person, it has nevertheless been achieved by many who put time and effort into Ki Aikido training. Such mind-body training balances individuation with integration, builds young people’s belief in themselves and lifts self-esteem by proofing them from victim behaviour.

Youth Insearch (Program procedures manual, 2004)

Activities to boost self-esteem are a regular part of camps in the Youth Insearch program, which is run by a not-for-profit foundation as an adjunct to or, increasingly, in conjunction with, school personal development and social learning programs. In one such activity, a young leader asks a group of young people seated in a circle to generate ideas about what constitutes self-esteem. When a range of ideas has been collected, the leader will move on to ask the group about what high self-esteem might be like and what might contribute to it. As the group list attributes, another assisting young leader writes the words onto stick-it notes. A third assisting young leader sits on the floor to emulate a young child and the second sticks the notes onto this person’s clothing. As the leader narrates a story how a child can grow into a positive young person if they experience these attributes, for example, being happy with how you look and being trusted, the ‘child’ unfolds and grows up into a strong-looking young person. The leader breaks off to invite the group to identify things that can tear self-esteem down, and as they are listed, tears the corresponding attribute off the assistant leader’s clothing. For example, if ‘hate the way you look’ is listed, the stick-it note about ‘being happy with the way you look’ is torn off. As the assistant leader continues to lose attributes of high self-esteem, his or her body language changes to express lower self-esteem and expectations, for example, the shoulders might be hunched and the head hung. Eventually, the assistant leader falls into a tight ball to express very vividly the experience of low self-esteem. Young people in the circle are then invited to say or do something to build up this person’s self-esteem. Typically, this involves verbal and physical affirmations such as hugging. This activity is a very powerful experience of shifting self-esteem as the majority of the young people present in the circle can closely identify with it. The shared experience of exploring self-esteem exposes vulnerabilities and, in dealing sensitively with them through positive affirmations, the young people develop mutual trust and higher expectations of themselves.

Conclusion

Self-esteem has been demonstrated here as being both a social and an individual property in young people. In adolescence, self-esteem can be experienced as a see-saw between high and low expectations of success, with issues of relationship these days tipping the balance towards few expectations and low self-esteem in young people. Families, schools and the community are as much responsible for young people’s self-esteem as they themselves are and interventions to improve self-esteem should thus take a holistic approach. Those recommended here are not easy or quick options but they are challenging and effective options when implemented by people of all ages who care for young people and the effect that self-esteem has on their ability to live successful lives.

References

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ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Dr Sandra Sytsma is an educator based in a preparatory level to year 10 school in Queensland, Australia. She also is a leader in the Youth Insearch Foundation, whose mission is to empower young people to lead positive and productive lives. Research activities centre around leadership for changing meaning.

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